I recently shared this Huffington Post article on my Facebook page about the insensitive comments moms of boys receive. So many people commented on that post and as it turns out, many of them have also been on the receiving end of negative comments.
Now that I’m a mom of two beautiful boys (my second son was born last month), I felt compelled to write this post.
Though I have two boys and not three, many people feel the need to tell me how hard it will be to raise two boys.
“Two boys? Well, you’ll sure be busy!” they say.
I’ve had people ask if I’m going to try for my girl and I’ve also had them utter the dreaded statement: “A boy is only his mother’s until he takes a wife; a daughter is forever.” I even had people tell me while I was pregnant that they hoped I would have a girl because it would “be a lot easier.”
When did it become a problem for women to have two or more boys? Why are girls more desirable than boys? Is a family not complete until there are both genders represented?
These are the questions I ask myself as I jump into my new world as a mom of two boys under two. My husband and I didn’t find out the gender for either of our boys beforehand. Everyone thought that I was having a girl the second time around (I even started to believe it myself, although my husband’s genetics would say otherwise). When the doctor announced that it was a boy and placed him on my chest, I was shocked. That shock soon turned to absolute joy as my baby boy lifted his head and looked me straight in the eye.
A second boy. It made complete sense. How could it be anything but another sweet boy?
Here’s the thing: it’s okay to want a daughter. Do I hope someday I’ll have a little girl? Of course. I think every mother wishes for a daughter. It’s a normal emotion.
But I’m okay with the fact that I may never have a little girl.
One woman commented on the article I shared and said something that has continued to stick with me days later.
God does not spin a lottery wheel when assigning us the gender of our babies.
This hit home for me. God gives us our children for a specific purpose – gender and all. He decides way before we do what children we will bring into the world. And since His plan is perfect, who are we to say otherwise?
I was meant to have two boys. Why? I’m not sure, but I know the reason will make itself clear in time. The Lord has entrusted me with these boys (who will soon turn into men). I don’t take that responsibility lightly. The world needs more godly, upstanding men and I plan to raise two of them.
Does it mean I don’t wish I could have a daughter? Of course not. I have a whole shelf filled with girly items (including a Felicity American Girl Doll) that I’ve saved for my future daughter. I have wishes and hopes and dreams for her. But if it’s not the Lord’s will, then I’m still content. Because His plans are better than any I could imagine on my own.
Fellow boy moms, let’s come together and rejoice in the fact that we get to raise young men. Young men who love their mothers fiercely. Young men who seek comfort from their mothers. Young men who treat us like the queens we are.
A few months ago my husband and I attended a wedding. I’ll never forget the look on my one-year-old’s face as I made my way down the stairs dressed to the nines with my hair curled and my makeup applied flawlessly (well, as flawless as it could be). His face broke out into this huge grin, as if to say: “Wow Mommy, you look amazing!”
To be fair, he was probably shocked that I was dressed in anything but sweatpants and a wrinkled t-shirt. But I like to think he saw my inner beauty and celebrated it. I can’t put into words how his smile made me feel. I can only tell you that I felt like I was walking on a cloud that night.
All because my little boy smiled at me.
If that isn’t a reason to embrace my boy mom status, then I don’t know what is.